We’ve all been criticized at one point or another. Obviously I open myself up to a little more than some choosing to have parts of my life on a public forum but I wanted to share some tips I’ve found for handling criticism and my thoughts on it. I remember about a year into blogging I got my first negative comment and it ruined my day (somebody told me I was too skinny and my outfit looked ridiculous) I called Cody crying and made a big deal out of nothing. Cody would always listen to me vent and be supportive but his response was always the same: “It isn’t a big deal, not everyone is going to like you”. I would respond “YOU DONT UNDERSTAND, they don’t even know me how could they just write something negative” but after awhile I realized he was right. I can tell you from experience it doesn’t happen overnight – but these are the things I’ve learned over the years that have helped me have a positive outlook on it all.
1. KINDNESS. I am a firm believer in karma and treating people with kindness. 95% of the time the person dishing it out has something else happening in their life and they are taking it out on you. Instead of being negative back just respond with something kind. Most of the time it’s the last thing they are expecting so you have the opportunity to turn their day around if they are just taking it out on you.
2. REFLECT. Over and over this has become a truth for me. What you focus on is what you attract. Ever notice when your having a bad day it seems like a million bad things are happening or vice versa for the good days. Reflect and see if maybe you are being negative and its bringing more negativity to your life.
3. HAVE AN OPEN MIND. Now this is probably one of the last things you want to hear, but sometimes what people are saying may have some truth to it. I remember someone commented on my blog a couple months ago: “Your blog has become so boring, all you ever wear is distressed denim and heels”. Obviously I don’t love hearing my blog is boring – but I looked back on my last ten posts and over half of them had been distressed denim and heels. So at the end of the day I was happy to hear the outside perspective even though it wasn’t positive.
4. DONT TAKE IT PERSONALLY. I really think I’ve heard every negative comment under the sun – from my parenting skills, to my body size, to the clothes I wear, to my grammatical errors (honestly I am a horrible speller!). Blogging for three years has definitely helped me develop a thicker skin but you really have to just let stuff go. Also keep in mind the scope of it all. It’s funny how one negative comment stands out so much more than 20 positive ones. Focus on the positive instead of the negative.
5. GIVE BACK. On those days you are hit with negativity don’t sit and sulk in misery, don’t text all your friends about your crappy day, do something positive to turn your day around. It can honestly be as simple as complimenting the next three people that walk by you. Choosing to stop focusing on yourself and give to others helps you move past the negativity. I love this quote by Mark Twain: ” The best way to cheer yourself up is to try and cheer somebody else up”.
6. HAPPY PLACE. When everything is driving me nuts I like to shut everything off and do something I love. Wether that’s going to the park with B, getting a pedicure or a massage, or doing a little retail therapy 😉 Take a little “you time” to do something you love. Treat yourself!
7. NOT EVERYONE HAS TO LIKE YOU. This is why I would never want to run for President. No matter what you do it seems like there is a group of people that hate you. Thankfully we don’t have it that hard, but at the end of the day you can’t be everyone’s BFF. If you’re in the blogging world not everyone is going to like your style so don’t take it personally. Invest in the relationships that matter in your life like family and be okay if not every outsider thinks your great.
At the end of the day the only thing you can control is how you react to negativity. What people say is out of your control but how you handle it is up to you. Choose to be positive and choose to be grateful and encourage others. Another quote I love is: “Be an encourager. The world already has plenty of critics.”
Thanks so much for reading, and thanks for all your comments (positive and negative) through out the years. I’ve learned so much doing this and I’m so thankful for this little online family we’ve created. Love you all!