Getting Criticized + 7 Ways to Stay Positive

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DETAILS: WHITE TANK  (LOVE THESE!)|| OLIVE JACKET || DENIM || NUDE MULES (ON SALE – MORE SIZES HERE) || LEATHER TOTE (CELINE – SIMILAR HERE)  || SUNGLASSES || GOLD WATCH || EARRINGS || BRACELET

BECKAM: H&M SWEATSHIRT (LOVE THIS ONE) || DENIM || STROLLER

We’ve all been criticized at one point or another. Obviously I open myself up to a little more than some choosing to have parts of my life on a public forum but I wanted to share some tips I’ve found for handling criticism and my thoughts on it. I remember about a year into blogging I got my first negative comment and it ruined my day (somebody told me I was too skinny and my outfit looked ridiculous) I called Cody crying and made a big deal out of nothing. Cody would always listen to me vent and be supportive but his response was always the same: “It isn’t a big deal, not everyone is going to like you”. I would respond “YOU DONT UNDERSTAND, they don’t even know me how could they just write something negative” but after awhile I realized he was right. I can tell you from experience it doesn’t happen overnight – but these are the things I’ve learned over the years that have helped me have a positive outlook on it all.

1. KINDNESS. I am a firm believer in karma and treating people with kindness. 95% of the time the person dishing it out has something else happening in their life and they are taking it out on you. Instead of being negative back just respond with something kind. Most of the time it’s the last thing they are expecting so you have the opportunity to turn their day around if they are just taking it out on you.

2. REFLECT. Over and over this has become a truth for me. What you focus on is what you attract. Ever notice when your having a bad day it seems like a million bad things are happening or vice versa for the good days. Reflect and see if maybe you are being negative and its bringing more negativity to your life.

3. HAVE AN OPEN MIND. Now this is probably one of the last things you want to hear, but sometimes what people are saying may have some truth to it. I remember someone commented on my blog a couple months ago: “Your blog has become so boring, all you ever wear is distressed denim and heels”. Obviously I don’t love hearing my blog is boring – but I looked back on my last ten posts and over half of them had been distressed denim and heels. So at the end of the day I was happy to hear the outside perspective even though it wasn’t positive.

4. DONT TAKE IT PERSONALLY. I really think I’ve heard every negative comment under the sun – from my parenting skills, to my body size, to the clothes I wear, to my grammatical errors (honestly I am a horrible speller!). Blogging for three years has definitely helped me develop a thicker skin but you really have to just let stuff go. Also keep in mind the scope of it all. It’s funny how one negative comment stands out so much more than 20 positive ones. Focus on the positive instead of the negative.

5. GIVE BACK. On those days you are hit with negativity don’t sit and sulk in misery, don’t text all your friends about your crappy day, do something positive to turn your day around. It can honestly be as simple as complimenting the next three people that walk by you. Choosing to stop focusing on yourself and give to others helps you move past the negativity. I love this quote by Mark Twain: ” The best way to cheer yourself up is to try and cheer somebody else up”.

6. HAPPY PLACE. When everything is driving me nuts I like to shut everything off and do something I love. Wether that’s going to the park with B, getting a pedicure or a massage, or doing a little retail therapy 😉 Take a little “you time” to do something you love. Treat yourself!

7. NOT EVERYONE HAS TO LIKE YOU. This is why I would never want to run for President. No matter what you do it seems like there is a group of people that hate you. Thankfully we don’t have it that hard, but at the end of the day you can’t be everyone’s BFF. If you’re in the blogging world not everyone is going to like your style so don’t take it personally. Invest in the relationships that matter in your life like family and be okay if not every outsider thinks your great.

At the end of the day the only thing you can control is how you react to negativity. What people say is out of your control but how you handle it is up to you. Choose to be positive and choose to be grateful and encourage others. Another quote I love is: “Be an encourager. The world already has plenty of critics.”

Thanks so much for reading, and thanks for all your comments (positive and negative) through out the years. I’ve learned so much doing this and I’m so thankful for this little online family we’ve created. Love you all!

XX,
Christine

 

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127 thoughts on “Getting Criticized + 7 Ways to Stay Positive

  1. I love this beautiful post and I love you! You’re truly wise and inspiring! Thanks for putting yourself out there and making yourself vulnerable to the critics of the world.
    – <3

  2. Very well written post and I agree with all your advice 100%. Sometimes the best way to grow is to listen to your critics (assuming it’s constructive) and learn from their feedback. I fully believe in turning something negative into a positive!

    http://www.pennypincherfashion.com

  3. Hello Christine,

    You are wonderful! I love following you along on a day to day basis. Your blog was the first blog I ever visited and read; I’ve loved it since day one. There’s been days where I wish there were more photos or content, but never has it been a negative experience. Even rockstars need a day off!!! 🙂 Keep doing what you love because you are great at it.

    Xx

    1. Aw thats so cool thanks for sharing! I feel honored you’ve been such a long time follower 🙂 And I appreciate the feedback about the pictures – I sometimes feel like I post too many so it’s nice having the feedback you would like to see more sometimes. Thanks so much for following! XX

  4. I needed to read this post today. Thank you so much for sharing and setting a wonderful example.

  5. Thank you for writing this! I can’t imagine anyone criticizing you! I tell all my friends how you help me from not becoming a frumpy mom! Lol

    As a college instructor, I get criticized and judged by my students. Even though there are so many are amazing, one negative person can be the only one you focus.

    This is just what I needed and am so happy to have found your amazing blog!!

  6. This is such a great post! Thank you for your tips 🙂 I really like the Mark Twain quote, I’ll definitely have to give that a try!

    -Rae
    studentsandstyle.wordpress.com

  7. Thank you for writing this! I can’t imagine anyone criticizing you! I tell all my friends how you help me from not becoming a frumpy mom!

    I have been a high school teacher and currently a college instructor for 8 years. I’ve dealt w a lot of criticism, even though there are so many phoenominal students, one negative person can be the only one you focus on.

    This is just what I needed today! I’m so happy to have found your amazing blog!!

    1. Aw thanks so much for following and thanks for all your hard work being an educator. My step mom was a teacher and it’s a really hard job. I remember days she had rough students – but there are so many more lives you impact in a positive way 🙂

      1. Thank you for replying! I’m sure you get a ton of requests, but I’d love to see your diet/exercise routine…and your makeup too! You always look flawless!

  8. I loved reading this post. You are beautiful on the inside and the outside. I grew up with parents in the public eye and dealt with criticism from an early age. Although the criticism wasn’t aimed directly at me, it still cut like a knife. It took me years to learn how to deal with it and there are days it still affects me. Your advise is spot on and beyond helpful to those who struggle with criticism. Thank you!!

    1. Hi Olivia – thanks so much for sharing! That’s honestly something I have thought about a lot – so it’s very insightful hearing your feedback on growing up on the public eye. I’m sorry your still dealing with some of that but remember to focus on the good 🙂 Thanks so much for reading and sharing! XX

  9. I love how you addressed that 1 negative comment stands out above 20 positive comments. I always wonder why some bloggers only respond to the negative comments or seem to put so much emphasis on them when they have 100s of comments giving them positive feedback and being supportive on their blog.
    Dresses & Denim

  10. well said! I love following your blog and IG and always look forward to the pictures of that smiling little boy. it’s hard to turn the other cheek sometimes, but you do it with grace!

  11. You’ve got a great body, wonderful fashion sense, a beautiful family, and a big heart. Haters will hate no matter what! But you seem like such a good person and in the long run, that’s what matters most.

  12. Great post! It’s tough dealing with criticism. I’m 7 months pregnant and people have said some really rude things (I think completely unknowingly). I can’t control how big my belly is getting and telling me I’m going to have a huge baby is not fun to hear. I have so much respect for you, Christine, and the vulnerability you have with your blog. It’s not easy to put it all out there, but I think you do it with grace. I love that although you invest in some big ticket items your clothes are still affordable. I’m having a boy and LOVE Beckham’s style. I can’t wait to use your inspiration for my little boy. Keep those Old Navy posts coming 🙂 Keep creating and try and stay positive!

    1. Aw congrats on the pregnancy! I swear people don’t think sometimes before they talk when they say stuff about having a big baby or whatever. I’m sure you look beautiful and have the pregnancy glow 🙂 Thanks so much for following along – and I love Old Navy! Lots more coming from them 😉

  13. This is a great post! People always have laughed at me for saying I would never run for public office but this is such a big reason as to why! I think you’re fabulous and your outfits are such an inspiration… and I would love to be as skinny as you! Keep up the great work!

  14. Really loving this post! Especially loving what you said about responding with kindness because those who are that critical usually don’t feel good about themselves. I tell that to my daughter who is in middle school where girls can be so insensitive and downright mean. It’s so therapeutic to understand the source and be able to just forgive.

    PS…LOVE your mules!

    Taffeta & Tulips

  15. This post couldn’t have come at a better time. You have great style, and you’re a good person. Thanks for this post, I needed a good reminder today 🙂

  16. Yours is the first blog I’ve ever really followed. I love your style… and that you provide links to where to buy the item or something similar. I look forward to getting your emails.

    Good post today about dealing with negativity. Negative people drive me crazy! It actually makes me sad to think about how they view and live their life. Like you said, they must have something going on in their world that creates those feelings. Perhaps they could just keep it to themselves? 🙂

    Keep writing and posting pics! I’m sure the people that like you FAR outweigh those that don’t.

  17. Christine,

    I love this so much I had to share it with my daughter who is also struggling with her own critics. It definitely made her smile.

    I’ve been following your blog for almost a year now. You are simply the cutest and your family is adorable. I’ve been able to walk into Nordstrom and ask for items you’ve posted. The sales associates have all commented about how kind you are. I am a firm believer in karma, also. ☺️ Kindness does matter! So, thank you for being a positive role model to so many women. And, my closet thanks you for sharing your style inspiration.
    Stacey

    1. Aw thanks so much for the comment Stacey! You are the sweetest! I hope this helped your daughter! Are you in SLC? I think the Nordstrom associates know me to well here lol. I LOVE Nordstroms!!

  18. I have been following your blog for a few months now and I wanted to say that you very quickly became my favorite blogger. In the spirit of positivity, I love the way you love the people around you. It is very obvious to me that your family is very important to you. Thank you for doing what you do. Blogs like yours are my happy thing to do after a long day. 🙂
    Peace and love

  19. Great post! And very wise words! I love that your blog isn’t something just focused on outfits, but there is a lot more depth to it. And unfortunately, criticism comes with it, but you gotta filter what can benefit you and just be positive about the rest. It seems you gotta it down!
    http://www.nottheaveragegirl.com

  20. I love this post! So proud of you for inspiring and encouraging others. There’s always something to be thankful for, even during the most difficult times…yet I often forget and need a nudge to get back on track! 🙂 X0X0

  21. Love this! Handling criticism can be very hard sometimes, especially when it is from someone who does not know you personally. I find it best to ignore those people, even though they may have said something harsh or hurtful. Thank you for this inspiring post!

    – J & M

  22. I started following you when you were pregnant with B. I was so envious (not jealous — that’s negative!) of your beautiful style and amazingly fit body! Now I love seeing your fabulous outfits and pix of your beautiful family. You seem like an awesome mom and loving wife. There’s nothing more important than that. So let people judge you on looks or style, but they can’t touch the authentic you!

  23. You are spot on, sister! I need those reminders sometimes and I’m not even a blogger. 🙂 But for the record, I think you’re great and I love your style, posts, etc.!

  24. I would like to comment on being “too skinny” this is the very reason that I follow your blog. I am 5’2 and weigh 110. I have been this way all my life and have listened to people behind me in the store say things like “look how skinny she is” or “she is so skinny she makes me sick” This was back before they made size 0 or size 2. I use to have to sew the inside of my jeans all the way down the pant leg so my pants wouldn’t be baggy. [just to fit in] I asked my doctor why I couldn’t gain weight and he said because I have small bones and I would always be thin, because I have a small frame.
    Now look at everybody tryin to be what I have been.
    Christina, you look fabulous, you have a beautiful family and a good lookin husband…and a nice dog:) You are a beautiful young girl and people are jealous, don’t get mad or cry its not about you, the sad part is …..its about them.
    Hugs n Kisses Carole

    1. Hi Carole, thanks so much for sharing your story. I hate when that happens! It’s happened to me numerous times too, and it’s hard not to take it personal, but I feel like its always a reminder for me not to judge when I catch myself making an assumption about a situation. Everyone has beauty in all shapes in sizes 🙂 Thanks so much for following along! XX

  25. Thanks for sharing Christine! No matter what we do, whether it’s blogging, a regular office job or just being a mom, we’re going to face criticism. As bloggers, we do put ourselves out there for it more, but that doesn’t make any more okay for someone to put another person or fellow woman down. I appreciate your openness and sharing your experience. I think you’re fabulous and love your style, personality and appreciate you as not only a blogger, but a fellow woman! 🙂 P.S. SUPER cute outfit!
    xoxo,
    Nikki at http://www.bedazzlesafterdark.com

    Enter my giveaway for a Spicer Bags cork tote worth $120 here!

    1. Thanks so much Nikki! I think you were one of the first bloggers I knew back in the day when we both did a post for Gigi New York 🙂 It’s crazy how time flies! So thankful to meet people like you through this community! XX

  26. Thanks for this post! The timing was perfect for me because for the first time someone posted something negative on my blog and it’s amazing how much it can bring you down. I love the idea on focusing on the positive and spreading that to others. You look great here! How could anyone say anything to the contrary about your blog and style?

  27. It’s so true that we can’t pleased everyone and we just have to accept that! I think it is hard to be nice to the people who are mean but also have to agree that kindness is indeed an important trait that will turn negativity to positivism. Thanks for sharing this inspiration post!

    Prudence
    http://www.prudencepetitestyle.com

  28. I really love your blog, your style and your lifestyle! You’re such an inspiration – and your baby is just the cutest!

    Best wishes from Brazil! <3

  29. Have never commented on your blog before, but have followed it for a long while.

    Some positive feedback… 🙂 I enjoy your blog for the fashion, and your sweet family, but I really enjoy when you give a piece of “you” to the world. You are beautiful outside, and seem to be just as beautiful inside.

    Great reminder post for us all!

    1. HI Karen, thanks so much for taking the time to comment! I want to start sharing more of my “personal” life so I appreciate you sharing the feedback. Hope you have a wonderful day! XX

  30. This is a great post! I have to say, I follow several bloggers and will admit that I sometimes get bored and stop following. However, your is always delightfully refreshing! I can’t believe anyone would ever call you boring! A few months ago, you posted a picture of a room “looking a mess”. I loved that post! This is another favorite, love your outfits, content, and ideas! Keep them coming!

    1. Hi Ellie, thanks so much for your sweet words! I’m so thankful to get to know people like you through the blog! And our house is definitely a mess like 50% of the time. I don’t know how people keep it so clean with kids I need to learn 🙂

  31. Thank you for this post. I am also a mom (of two little ones) and I shudder to think how hard it will be for them growing up in this age of social media and cyber bullying. People become so cruel when they can hide behind a computer. I am also such a firm believer of karma. And I always try to remind myself that “hurt people hurt people!” I hope that more people will adopt your attitude and remember that if you can’t say anything nice, sometimes best not to say anything at all! And I absolutely love your blog – keep doing what you’re doing! 🙂

  32. Thanks for a great post. Not taking it personally is such a good lesson, as is responding to criticism with kindness and changing the karma. Everyone’s entitled to an opinion, and Bloggers need the good grace to allow them space. Faced with this kind of grace, the critics will probs change their minds!

  33. Such an uplifting post! I had someone make a very mean, negative comment about my personal life a few weeks ago. While I chose to take the high road and not give any response to this comment, I have been focusing way too much of my energy on it, letting it bother me almost everyday. Reading your post, especially where you note that we can only control how we handle negativity; has made me realize that I shouldn’t let things like this put a damper on my life. There are so many good things happening right now that I should really focus on and be thankful for instead. I had to Say thank YOU for your sweet post, it’s definitely help turn my attitude around. I love following your blog and you have a gorgeous family. =)

    1. Oh my gosh I totally know how that goes! Even taking the higher road doesn’t mean it still bug you mentally. It’s always easier said then done but glad this was encouraging! Thanks so much for following! XX

  34. Love this post! I’ve been following your blog for three years and you ARE my favorite blogger! Keep up the great work and the incredible sense of style.

  35. Wonderful post! These tips are so spot-on! I know many girls needed to hear this. (Heck, we all need to be reminded of this every once in a while!) You’re an inspiration! Thank you for being so transparent and using your experience to help others.

    Ps: I received my B.A. in English literature and was a high school English teacher for four years. [Currently working on my M.A. in Psychology.] I would be more than happy to edit your posts (gratis) anytime. I’m such a nerd; I actually enjoy proofreading/editing. 🙂 Let me know!

    Xo,
    Jes

  36. Hi there! I’ve been following your blog for a very long time and have never commented before. Reading your post was so inspiring I just had to. Thank you for sharing such kind words…I completely agree. If everyone followed these ideas the world would be a much happier place. Anywho…you’re a gorgeous woman with a beautiful family! Don’t ever let anyone tell you different. Thanks for always posting amazing outfits and adorable pictures of B. 🙂 xoxo

  37. I love your blog! I check it almost daily, I love the photos (the more the better!) I have purchased several items you’ve worn in posts, I love how you combine higher end with lower end items. Too many blogs these days post with clothing and accessories that aren’t affordable for 95% of the women who read them! Thanks for putting yourself out there! The haters are going to hate! You rock girl!

  38. Great post!! There has been so much negativity and it’s great to read how you handle it. I love putting more positive vibes out there! I truly can’t understand how people can be so rude, but I really value your ways to stay positive and happy! I’ve always loved your blog/outfits and love it even more now!!!

  39. Thank you so much for posting this! Exactly what I needed to read at this point in my career. I have been following you for a few months and I will definitely continue, based on this post!

  40. Very well said. I just started blogging 2 months ago. And all those statements you’ve was so true. Thank you for all those advice. I also do believe that we cannot please everybody. Thank you Christine. You are such an inspiration. I also want to be as successful as you in blogging.
    http://Www.simplychristianne.com

  41. Loved this post!
    You are right…not everyone is going to like us. Often times, I spend too much time thinking about what people is going to think about me..and it just can’t be that way. You have to do what you love and don’t care about being critized. Thanks for sharing 🙂

    http://www.therooftopblog.com

  42. This is so inspiring; I look up to you so much Christine! It’s not just your sense of style but also the way that you look at life and how you handle yourself. Following your posts on Instagram and the cute things you share on Snapchat remind me to stop and smell the flowers along the way because life can be so great if you know how to make it great.

    Thank you for being you and for reminding me to look for the positives in life rather than the negatives. <3

    1. Aw thanks so much for your sweet words Mer. We all have hard days but there is always a piece of good with the bad 🙂 Thanks so much for reading! Have a great week XX

  43. I love your blog! So much inspiration, makes me excited for summer. – kathrynsdailymoney.com

  44. the link provided for the gold watch on the article titled GETTING CRITICIZED + 7 WAYS TO STAY POSITIVE actually takes one to the earrings and not the watch. Just thought I’d let you know, and if you’d be kind enough to share more about that particular watch. Thanks!

  45. These are great points! I think people forget the importance and simplicity of being courteous! Thank you for posting! Your son is adorable :).

    1. I’ve been reading your blog for a long time and just have to say that your son is so insanely adorable!!! I have an almost 2 year old (who is my world too) and I love reading about how you dress him! Thanks for sharing 🙂 He is seriously so so so cute!! 🙂

  46. This is a great post. I’ve printed it to show my 21-year old daughter. Young girls can be so hard on each other…. I love your outlook on how to stay positive & feel good about yourself. You are not going to please everyone & that’s OK. A good lesson to learn! Thank you!

  47. I love following your blog, your positive outlook and kindness really shine through, just fyi 🙂

  48. yes funny tell it!!! this post really resonated with me. you have a beautiful family i might add xx

  49. Magnificent points altogether, you simply won a logo new reader. What would you recommend in regards to your publish that you just made some days in the past? Any sure?

  50. I love this post. You are so gracious and beautiful inside and out. These are fantastic tips and great reminders. Thank you! 🙂

  51. I have been a beauty and fashion writer for 2 decades, and I am finally developing a little bit of a thicker skin. My syndicated fashion column runs in newspapers, and the response is generally always positive, but every now and then I will get a remark about how the content or the prices or whatever is “out of touch”. I used to brood about those comments for days, but I am finally learning to shrug them off and it feel so good. If there is genuine feedback, I can learn from that, but if someone was just venting or criticizing for no good reason, I can let it go. Anyway, I just wanted to say that I have been there and know how challenging it can be, but your approach to it (and to everything) is inspiring!

  52. Christine,

    I just love the depth that your adding to your blog posts! I have been following you for about two years now…pre-B, during pregnancy to watching B grow up has been so fun to follow and watch you transition into these different seasons of your life! I certainly appreciate your confidence and vulnerability that you are exuding in your posts. I have always loved your fashion sense and copy as many outfits as I can on the daily — but now, I am loving getting to know your heart as I see it come out more and more in your posts. Thank you for sharing your gift of fashion with us, and now for opening up your heart and sharing all of that for us to see, too! You are a beautiful woman inside & out!! I feel so blessed to be able to keep up with your journey and fashion….so THANK YOU!! <3

  53. Thank you for this article, I really loved it. It’s full of inspiration for me ’cause I’ve got trouble with negativity and getting cool when someone is negative to me. Nice day 🙂

  54. You are such a bright light. Some people will always find the negative. Another tip is to remember that the opinions that only matter are the ones that come from people you respect. And not everyone has good taste so if they don’t like you…well, their taste level is not all that elevated.

  55. I really hope you receive more positive comments than negative ones. I’m a firm believer of doing good and good will come to you. Happy you’ve shared this list with us, and don’t worry about negative people – in the end it says more about them than about you.

    http://www.sartreuse.com

  56. I could relate to it so deeply at some other level. I think the way that you dealt with things is not only good for us but it might the other person think about themselves and who knows they might end up changing their mind for good! I loved this post.